The One that Like Got Away, Right.

Talking to my kids, I realise that my normal style of writing may be a little out-dated, so this one’s for the kids.

Oh-my-god, you are like so not gonna believe what happened to me yesterday right cos I was like going to work right, and I was like proper chuffed right, cos I like got to the bus stop right and guess what, there’s a bus already there so I’m like ‘cool, no hangin’ around like a proper loser’ right, so I goes to get in right, like putting my cane in the door, and no that ain’t no euphawotsit you dirty bugger, so I’ve got my cane in right and then summet proper shadies happens right, cos the driver, right, he like closes the bloomin doors, and I’m like ‘Oi, get off my stick!’ and I’m like pullin’ it but it’s not comin out and then the bus just like pulls off right, with my knob still jammed in the doors, so I’m like hangin on right, still tryin to like pull it out, and the bus is like getting further away and the cane is like stretchin cos it’s got like this elastic sort of rope stuff in it and then I’m like thinking ‘s**t, this thing’s gonna go ping in a minute and take me out’ so I like have to let go and oh-my-god, my cane goes flyin out my hand right proper fast like, and I can hear it like bein like dragged along the road, and Im like standin there thinking I so cannot believe that just happened,